In looking at the suggestions below, it is important to realize doing these things will not "save" a relationship. They will not fix problems or heal deep-seated hurts, rather they are ingredients of a healthy, loving marriage.

To fully appreciate your partner and enjoy the give and take, one must look through the eyes of a lover. One must understand that though married they are not permanently bound to you and are free to leave if the relationship should deteriorate to the intolerable.

To keep those feelings alive, the Secrets of Romance are ways to let your spouse know they are the most important person in your life. While you may feel this in your heart, it lets your partner know just how special they are, that he's your Knight in Shining Armour or she's your Lady Guinevere.

Secrets of Romance

For Him:

  • Do you praise her in public? Complimenting her in front of someone else will make her feel appreciated and extra special. When was the last time you told someone else how lucky you are to have this woman in your life?
  • Call her from work to tell her you love her, every hour on the hour for a day.
  • Flirt with her in public like you were still single.
  • Surprise her by bringing home a take away dinner.
  • Gently brush her hair for her.
  • Learn how to prepare her favorite dinner and then do it!
  • Kiss every inch of her... slowly...
  • Send her a postcard every day you are away from her.
  • Have a poem delivered to your table in a restaurant.
  • Give hugs frequently - no strings attached.
  • Surprise her by performing a household task she usually does.
  • Mail a gift to her at work.
  • Leave a rose on her pillow.
  • When she's really upset, even at you, hold her close.
  • Don't just tell her she's more important than the football/baseball/basketball game - show her. Turn off the TV!
  • Whisper in her ear "I'm glad I married you."
  • Go on a second honeymoon.
  • Tell her she's beautiful.
  • Re-visit where you proposed marriage and bring champagne.
  • Renew your wedding vows.
  • Tell her what you appreciate about her.
  • Mail a card to her the day you leave town so she'll get it while you're away.
  • Give her "Dinners Out" Coupons.
  • Be creative at gift time. Don't give her an iron, skillet or vacuum unless it's specifically requested.
  • If you want to see her in sexy clothes, don't think ratty sweatpants and holey T-shirts will inspire her.
  • If she has a problem she wants to talk about, don't go into the "Mr. Fix-It" mode - just listen. That's all she really wants.
  • Remind her she's a desirable woman, especially if she's 8 month's pregnant.
  • Never take her for granted.


For Her:
  • Write a banner to welcome him home from a trip.
  • Buy him a puppy.
  • Write him a love note and insert it into a book he's reading.
  • Don't wait for a special occasion to serve him a candlelit dinner.
  • Make him a pizza in the shape of a heart.
  • When he's on a trip, give him a sexy wake-up call at 6:30 AM.
  • Before leaving on his trip, tuck a few romantic cards in different areas of his luggage.
  • Before leaving on his trip, leave a bottle of massage oil on his nightstand and promise to use every drop on him when he returns.
  • Write "I Love You" in lipstick on the bathroom mirror.
  • Wash and vacuum his car.
  • Leave a note on his pillow.
  • Send him a cookie bouquet.
  • Send him a perfumed love letter.
  • Surprise him with satin sheets for no particular reason.
  • If he comes home late from work, have candles glowing everywhere.
  • Don't nag. Instead, remember all his good points.
  • Appreciate the man for who he is. Don't try to remake him.
  • Tell him what you appreciate about him.
  • Write in snow in your front yard, "I Love You!"
  • Pack a picnic lunch, including tablecloth and wine, and bring it to his office. Lock the door and use the floor as your table.
  • Give him "Back Rub" Coupons.
  • Fill his glove box with Hershey's Kisses, Jelly Bellies, M & M Peanuts, whatever his favorite candy might be.
  • Let him knows he's the most wonderful person you've met.
  • Make a cassette tape of his favorite music and leave it in his tape deck ready to play when he starts the car.
  • Daily, do your hair, put on make-up and perfume.
  • If he wants a little space (some quiet relax time) when he gets home from work, don't pounce on him with the 100 things that went wrong. Give him time to unwind.
  • Scratch his head.
  • Tell him he's your Knight in Shining Armour, but more importantly, show him! Remember why you chose him above all others.
  • Never take him for granted.

For Both:
  • Watch the sunset together on a hill. Bring a picnic and forget the TV!
  • Write a poem, compose a song, leave a note, write a love letter.
  • Shower together.
  • Touch more. Hold hands. Brush her cheek. Stroke his arm. Rub her neck. Rub his feet. Hug! Kiss her nose. Cuddle! Nibble his ear. Massage her back. Sit in his lap.
  • Sign up together for a class in dance, woodworking, cooking, wine tasting, massage, drawing...
  • Share a bubble bath.
  • Share decadent banana splits.
  • Go lingerie shopping together.
  • Hold hands while watching TV at home.
  • Lose those 10 pounds you've been meaning to shed.
  • Read aloud to each other before bed.
  • Arrange weekly "date nights" - without the kids.
  • Romantics are the biggest fans of their lovers. Have you complimented her lately? Have you thanked him recently?
  • Plan ahead - don't wait to the last minute to buy a gift.
  • Listen for a change - you'll learn a lot.
  • Cook a meal together.
  • Go to a bookstore together and buy each other books.
  • Dress up for each other occasionally for dinner at home.
  • Dance at home.
  • Do something different. Ruts and boredom kill a romance.
  • Remember all the good things about each other.
  • Share your favorite chocolate bar.
  • Take a moonlight walk.
  • Rent a tandem bicycle.
  • Read together John Gray's "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus."
  • Look at your wedding photo album and reminisce.
  • It's never too late to start anew. You can't start over, but you can begin again.
    From: Lady Guinevere and Sir Lancelot
    At Home in the Rockies of BeautifulColorado
    ...Return to Start

    • Happy Anniversary to: Lady Guinevere and Sir Lancelot